texts from last night

[preternaturalist]

y'all know what to do

Comments

[thepussywhisperer]

It wasn't the Bob Ross thing, but the fact we were wearing matching clothes. She thought you were my girlfriend and I was cheating in front of your face.

[diggingupdirt]

Oh. Shit. Right. My bad, I forgot about that.

I'll make it up to you?

[thepussywhisperer]

Dumplings would ease the pain of having to go dateless for the weekend again.

[diggingupdirt]

Fair enough but let me go pick them up and let me go by myself. Otherwise you're gonna be making your own dumplings and dumplings for like 70 oher people too. You know my mom.

[thepussywhisperer]

That's okay by me. I don't know if I can handle your mom trying to hook us up again. I'll let you get eaten by the wolves on your own this time.

[diggingupdirt]

I can't handle it either. At least it won't be two of us suffering if I go alone and make a few trays of dumplings. I'll spare you. This is who much I love you.

[thepussywhisperer]

If you really loved me, you'd let me borrow Baozu. For like a month. Maybe a year.

[diggingupdirt]

And then have you wind up homeless when your landlord finds out you got a cat? That's not love.

[thepussywhisperer]

Well, it's not like I'm expecting my landlord to love me. I can deal with that later, after I give Baozu back.

Or I can sic Xiaolongbao on him.

[diggingupdirt]

I wouldn't sic Xiaolongbao on my worst enemy.

That's a lie, I'm a bitch and I totally would.